Ella has learnt how to say yes. It certainly makes a refreshing change from hearing ‘no’ two hundred times a day. It’s a rather sibilant sounding affirmative at the moment though. It took me a while to grasp that ‘Yaysh’ was actually her agreeing to something and now I can’t seem to stop asking her questions just so I can hear that cute little sound…
In other news, on Wednesday morning I took the triplets for a taster session at the nursery they’ll be going to in September. It’s the same nursery Jake attended and so walking inside for the first time in four years with his three siblings was quite a moment and I had to stifle a little sob. We started trying for a second baby when Jake was two and, almost immediately, my daily life was overshadowed by what I came to realise was secondary infertility and I honestly do think I went a little bit mad. I doubt I’m alone in not always managing to live in the moment but I spent four years in such a perpetual state of longing and deep sadness for what wasn’t happening in my life and doing a pretty dismal job of cherishing what was alive and flourishing right there in front of me. I remember standing on the nursery steps every day, queuing with the other mums all waiting to pick up our little ones. It quickly became clear that Jake was the only child there without a brother or sister and I found that incredibly hard. So now, I can’t quite believe my luck that from September I get to stand on those steps again waiting for Ella, Louis and Theo to burst through the swing doors at twelve forty five clutching splodgy paintings and toilet roll spaceships. ‘Be careful what you wish for’ has been said to me countless times since the arrival of the triplets. I couldn’t have wished for more and this time round I intend to really enjoy it.
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