I went for a run this morning. I say run – it was more of a jog a bit, walk a bit, bend over to catch breath, try not to be sick type affair. All over and done with in about sixteen minutes. Felt good though. Whenever I do attempt any form of exercise that doesn’t involve lifting three rather solid toddlers (you should see my triceps) I feel like I’m putting a real distance between myself and cancer. Shutting the front door on the craziness at home and heading to the nearest bit of green, my body (wheezing and spluttering aside) feels strong and like it’s my friend again. Chemotherapy, it goes without saying, completely wiped me out and I turned into someone I didn’t recognise. I’ve always been a fairly high speed kind of person, always busy, not very good at sitting still but during those few months of intense treatment I moved so tentatively and, at times, in such an unsteady way it was as though my body had been inhabited by a little old lady. You think that this is it and that you’ll never feel normal again. The weeks that followed my last dose of chemo saw me very slowly but surely coming back to life. Colour in my cheeks, the whites of my eyes slowly turned er, white again and a few millimetres of fluff started to appear on my shiny, bald head. The thing is, it’s all so subtle that you barely notice that you’re feeling and looking better. But I do remember being at home one day and somebody knocking at the front door. It was only when I got to the bottom of the stairs that I realised I’d bounded down, two at time, just like the old me always had. Now,that was a really good feeling.
So today, trainers on and ignoring the rain I ‘ran’ and intend to keep on going. In September, along with a few friends, I’ll be walking a full marathon for Cancer Research UK as part of their SHINE event. We did the half marathon last year and it was an absolute killer so I’m not quite sure what I’m thinking of but seeing as my philosophy these days is to ‘yes’ a hell of a lot more than ‘no’ I reckon I’ve got to give it a go.
And anyway, the biggest motivator of all – the more I run the more I can eat. Only kidding. Kind of…
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